I don’t think I can ever start by saying my life is calm. I’m Queen of Chaos. I’d say that I used to thrive on it, but at this point in life I’m just trying to survive.
My two oldest will be starting face to face learning on Thursday. YES, the school will have my kids starting a routine at the end of the week. I don’t make the rules, but I’m going to try and follow them. We’ve been working on getting school supplies organized and buying the “normal” school items. Clothes, shoes, lunch kits and oh masks. So we’ve got that going on.
Lucas has decided that he too needs to go to school. Look, he isn’t wrong. It’s just that he’s my BABY! He’ll be four in a little over a month and I’m no where near ready for it. Between me and you, he could stay with me forever because even though he is JUST LIKE ME, I am not prepared for him growing up.
Anyhowwww, I won’t start the water works. You’re going to see that Lucas Q himself is the King of Water Works. As I stated before, he’s my baby and he sure knows how to thrive on it. After we hit the milestone of going potty like a big boy, he realized that I would “treat” him as a reward system….We haven’t let that go, well I have, but he hasn’t. Last week, I finally had a day of no school and was able to venture out to Target with the boys. It wasn’t truly an adventure because I just needed my monthly medications, but hey you take what you can these days.
We go into Target, pack my purse into the cart and get a rolling. Drop into the pharmacy for them to tell me some of my prescriptions weren’t ready…Oh you need twenty more minutes, great! That’s when it happened. Lucas’s epic meltdown. I knew it was coming. I saw the signs. Lucas said “I get a toy” and I calmly stated that we weren’t here for toys. Whimper. I looked at Lucas and the puppy dog eyes come out. I responded with “No bubba, not today”. He had had it with me…His legs hit the cold floor and he began kicking and screaming with absolutely no care in the world and kept it moving. At this point I would give in and we’d hit that toy section. Not today, today I knew that even though my migraine was spewing I didn’t have a choice. I looked at his big brother, Preston, knowing that he was feeling the pressure of panic. Around this time, I see an elderly lady with her basket coming and I move my cart so she can get around me and the chaos clan that I surround myself with. I mean, they are my kids so I guess I have to keep them! (haha)
That old lady was the biggest (insert lengthy cuss words) I had ever met. Her eyes were cold and her mouth was loud. She wanted to let me know how bad of a mom I was. My kid was on the floor and squealing at that AND I of all people was allowing it. It was probably one of my worst moments. I didn’t know why it made me so angry, who was she to judge when she didn’t know me. She didn’t know that I’ve been trying for months with balancing our work and home life schedule or that our potty training was rougher than expected. She didn’t know a dang thing about me but she was quick to judge it in this very moment.
Mama’s I know it’s rough and I know that some days are better than others. We get up and we keep going. We go until we can’t anymore and then some. I’m sorry that sometimes people think it’s okay to judge, it isn’t. I know your kids aren’t bad kids. I know that sometimes it just happens. I bet it’s their dad’s fault. If your Target has a Starbucks, grab that drink because you deserve it. You deserve it all. Screw that Karen who thinks she knows your life. If you are a Karen, please stop. You’re slowly breaking down women and that isn’t okay. We’re supposed to come together, not tear each other apart.