It’s crazy to me how well things can be going, only for it to blow up in your face. Not in the literal, holy cow look at that dumpster fire, but you know what I mean.
It all started out as a normal Girl’s Night. My sister-in-law and I were all kinds of prepared for what the night would bring. We ate, we drank and we danced the night away. You see, she’s a stay home mom of the youngest of my nieces. Then there is me, who of course never lets loose anymore. And boy did we. We danced and sang all night. It was everything I needed to start out Mother’s Day weekend. Yes, yes I get an entire weekend.
What I didn’t expect was the next morning everything would be flipped upside down. It’s like the past two years didn’t mean a thing. It’s like no matter how hard I had worked, had trained my body, it still failed me. I can’t remember much, only what Eric told me happened. And I don’t think it gets easier seeing the look on his face when I wake up. Do you know what it feels like to disappoint someone? You aren’t human if you don’t. It’s bound to have happened at least once in your life. Well, that’s the face I get to wake up to. Even though it isn’t my fault, even though I had no control over what my body would do. And that hurts. It hurts knowing that something is supposed to keep you safe, your body is meant to keep you from harm, and it still has the ability to fail you.
I’m not sure what this next chapter brings. Believe it or not this is the first time in a long time that I don’t have a plan. I’m the biggest planner. I live with so many calendars to ensure nothing is forgotten. But at this very moment, I’m blank. I just want to hide away like a hermit crab. Run away from every small problem. Being afraid of your own life is the crumbiest feeling.
I’ve worked contract for most of my adult life and in 2016 I started a part time gig I never expected to have come so far in.
What started as working Monday mornings from 8-12 turned into all week phone calls about random stories. It’s giving out my number because he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. It’s a full time job without it being a full time job. I don’t get the benefits. I don’t get sick or vacation. What’s a 401k?
So what keeps me going? How have I lasted through ups downs, good and bad?
I stay because every summer since I’ve started my kids have come with me to the office. I stay because when I got sick or when I was pregnant, I had him coming to me instead of me having to leave the house. When Covid hit, there I was dropping off groceries outside of his door and making sure he had plenty of Lysol and working from across his lawn. It’s the small moments of hearing stories and being reminded of my grandpa. It’s him watching my kids grow and them getting to hear the stories of the good ol’ days.
I don’t stay for the money. I stay for the happiness and the chance to watch my kids grow. To be there whenever my kids need me, when my family needs me. Because a job isn’t supposed to consume your life. Make it about your happiness and everything will fall into place 🖤
I never knew what life would be like after raising babies. I mean, I’d been raising babies since I was technically a kid. And according to my mom I didn’t help her with my siblings, but my siblings said otherwise in a conversation the other day and I won’t call my mom out again! (wink wink) Even if you’re the oldest, you’re considered a parent to your siblings. Or so social media leads you to believe. We always believe the internet. Now we’re off topic. I’ve been writing, but it’s been more private and I thought how unfair it was that I was leaving every single four people that read my blog in the dark about my wild life! So thank you and maybe I’ll work on coming back.
My youngest is 4.5 and I sure am feeling the baby blues. It’s a really odd feeling because I’ve always known when I would be done having kids, but now watching my three boys grow up, which is amazing in itself, has just been astonishing. Where did the time go? We’re in the summer of 2021 and I now have a third grader and holy cow a sixth grader. He’s literally right at my height and I refuse to admit it to him. With the kids growing like weeds and knowing how to wipe their own asses, I realized that it was time I started to buckle in and grow up too. Like look for something more. Because obviously the mom thing, DIY lady, bookkeeper, administrative assistant & fabric representative isn’t enough.
Do you ever feel like you aren’t doing enough even though you’re literally spread too thin? That’s me. So in 2018 when I started getting sick, everyone told me to slow down. I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but it’s just so difficult and I’ve found myself in the same place. The only difference is now my body just literally will shut down and I’ll fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the afternoon and miss things. Oh the battles I lose. I don’t think I had a real point of this, just a hey y’all I’m back. I’m working really hard on me, the family & trying to force myself to keep the classes in check and grow my adult life a little bit.
Ugh. On another note, the other day I was told by a former classmate how they were celebrating their ten year class reunion and it pretty much sucked because homeschooling and graduating a year early left me without friends, a prom and all of the “fun” things that I’m now missing out on. Please tell me I’m not missing out on anything and all the cool kids aren’t cool anymore.
I don’t think I can ever start by saying my life is calm. I’m Queen of Chaos. I’d say that I used to thrive on it, but at this point in life I’m just trying to survive.
My two oldest will be starting face to face learning on Thursday. YES, the school will have my kids starting a routine at the end of the week. I don’t make the rules, but I’m going to try and follow them. We’ve been working on getting school supplies organized and buying the “normal” school items. Clothes, shoes, lunch kits and oh masks. So we’ve got that going on.
Lucas has decided that he too needs to go to school. Look, he isn’t wrong. It’s just that he’s my BABY! He’ll be four in a little over a month and I’m no where near ready for it. Between me and you, he could stay with me forever because even though he is JUST LIKE ME, I am not prepared for him growing up.
Anyhowwww, I won’t start the water works. You’re going to see that Lucas Q himself is the King of Water Works. As I stated before, he’s my baby and he sure knows how to thrive on it. After we hit the milestone of going potty like a big boy, he realized that I would “treat” him as a reward system….We haven’t let that go, well I have, but he hasn’t. Last week, I finally had a day of no school and was able to venture out to Target with the boys. It wasn’t truly an adventure because I just needed my monthly medications, but hey you take what you can these days.
We go into Target, pack my purse into the cart and get a rolling. Drop into the pharmacy for them to tell me some of my prescriptions weren’t ready…Oh you need twenty more minutes, great! That’s when it happened. Lucas’s epic meltdown. I knew it was coming. I saw the signs. Lucas said “I get a toy” and I calmly stated that we weren’t here for toys. Whimper. I looked at Lucas and the puppy dog eyes come out. I responded with “No bubba, not today”. He had had it with me…His legs hit the cold floor and he began kicking and screaming with absolutely no care in the world and kept it moving. At this point I would give in and we’d hit that toy section. Not today, today I knew that even though my migraine was spewing I didn’t have a choice. I looked at his big brother, Preston, knowing that he was feeling the pressure of panic. Around this time, I see an elderly lady with her basket coming and I move my cart so she can get around me and the chaos clan that I surround myself with. I mean, they are my kids so I guess I have to keep them! (haha)
That old lady was the biggest (insert lengthy cuss words) I had ever met. Her eyes were cold and her mouth was loud. She wanted to let me know how bad of a mom I was. My kid was on the floor and squealing at that AND I of all people was allowing it. It was probably one of my worst moments. I didn’t know why it made me so angry, who was she to judge when she didn’t know me. She didn’t know that I’ve been trying for months with balancing our work and home life schedule or that our potty training was rougher than expected. She didn’t know a dang thing about me but she was quick to judge it in this very moment.
Mama’s I know it’s rough and I know that some days are better than others. We get up and we keep going. We go until we can’t anymore and then some. I’m sorry that sometimes people think it’s okay to judge, it isn’t. I know your kids aren’t bad kids. I know that sometimes it just happens. I bet it’s their dad’s fault. If your Target has a Starbucks, grab that drink because you deserve it. You deserve it all. Screw that Karen who thinks she knows your life. If you are a Karen, please stop. You’re slowly breaking down women and that isn’t okay. We’re supposed to come together, not tear each other apart.
Virtual learning for the beginning of the school year has been, well who knows? We got in two days and the school decided to shut down for a hurricane that we were fortunate enough to have turn last minute. When Eric and I decided to keep the boys home, I knew that that meant our already upside down world would just keep spinning. So here I am after 9 pm writing to you guys because it’s been a while and I needed to get my mind off the fact that things just aren’t ever going to go how you expect. I bought a brand new printer last year that has now decided in the middle of the chaos that it just doesn’t want to work. There is just an error. Welp, that’s great. Luckily, my lifesaver mom has a backup because she’s a hoarder and when she upgraded she kept her old one. Score! So that’s one less thing to deal with.
Let’s also send a huge shout out to the teachers!!! Okay, no one ever expected this pandemic to last this long, did they? I sure as heck didn’t. It sure was a surprise when my second grader’s teacher sent out a video late this evening that she was switching classes up this week because they need to “place” where my second grader was level wise. Welp lady, I’ve got one day in the office and then I’ll change our schedules again daily. Look, she can’t help it and it isn’t her fault, but the planner in me is sure struggling to keep up. Just relax, it’s going to be fine. Everything is fine.
Maybe I was writing about all the small things that were going wrong because I’m masking the fact that tears kept falling from my face this evening when I have to stay strong all the dang time. Dude, that shit is rough. Like the issues I have with my outside family is legit. I’m big on telling people my opinions, it’s probably why I don’t have friends. I feel like I’ve learned to live with that, I love my clan and I love what Eric and I have built, it’s my sanity. They’re my peace.
I hate death. Okay, who doesn’t obviously. But this year, death brought out so much anger in me. Anger towards people that deserve it, but I can’t bring myself to tell them like how angry I am. I literally sit back and pretend I’m okay. It’s this cycle that I’ve always had and Eric keeps saying, speak up and I can’t… Basically, Grieving sucks and everyone does it in their own way and I’m still trying to figure out how to.
Can you cut out family? Like, just shut that shit down? Asking for a friend. It’s like no matter how good I do, it’s never enough. At first, I thought it was me, maybe I just wasn’t meant to be enough. But let’s be honest, I’m pretty legit. It took me years, I mean years of Eric constantly reminding me of how badass I am for me to finally realize that it isn’t me at all. Some people just like to tear you down and even though it isn’t okay, it can’t define you. Then one day I said F**k it and became a better me. Let me stop sulking, fix my crown and get back to being my best self.
If you stuck around for my sulking thanks, you’re the real mvp. Back to your scheduled memes and random scrolling.
Third day of what you may ask? Welp. It’s the end of summer and November will come knocking and I’ll have a four year old. I cannot believe my baby is growing so quickly!
I have always let my boys decide when they were ready to potty train. Whether it was early or late, we’d get there when we got there. Unfortunately my youngest boy has decided that he will be the most hardheaded of them all! He’s a few months shy of four and hasn’t even wanted to sit on the potty. We even got him a small potty that flushed and all! But nope, not even a little bit. So we continued buying expensive Pampers Diapers. Size 7 that can only be bought online or at your local Sam’s Club. Roughhhh. Luckily, I came across six fancy clearance boxes of Pull-Ups at Target and took them ALL. I was tired of paying for diapers, heck they’re expensive!
Next thing you know we were six pull-ups away from being out of everything and Lucas still no where near ready to potty train. So I did what every mom would do, I think 🤷🏻♀️ We cold turkey quit diapers.
I got all masked up and went out to Target to pick out his favorite character underwear. We are full on potty training mode! I was reading on a few other blogs on how some mothers were getting their boys to potty train. It went from getting rewards to the famous “they will when they’re ready”. The one that caught my eye was the three day potty training game. That meant that for the next three days we would let our rambunctious 3.5 year old run naked and we would pray that he made it to the potty in time. ANDDDDDD It is working!! Lucas has officially become a potty trained young boy!! We are going on three weeks of being in his big boy underwear. Pooping has by far been the most difficult to maintain. Luc has patience problems and refuses to sit for long periods of time. The easiest thing is to take away his underwear until he actually poops. YESSS, that sounds crazy, he is running around most of the time naked, but it is working for us! We may have also started telling him that every time he poops in the potty we will take him to the store. He’s raking in the small toys right now. Bribing? Completely. Still a proud moment in the Romo Household. 2020 you’re not a complete waste!
We celebrate quite a few dates in our years of being The Romo Clan. This date, July 23rd, of every year has now become one of the dates added to our calendar.
It’s no ones birthday and we aren’t adding anyone to the Clan. On this day in 2019, I had a seizure. It was the first one I had in almost six months. It would have been a big accomplishment for us. The episodes were so unknown as to when they’d happen. Sometimes my hormones were off balanced, maybe I was on my keto diet for too long and then there’s the chance that I was stressed and sleep deprived. Hey, three kids and life can do that to anyone.
After that day I had given up. I couldn’t figure out what it was a was doing wrong. I couldn’t understand why it would keep happening. How could we have a semi normal life with the unknown of when an episode would happen.
I went ahead and pulled back on work, I let my mom help me in more ways than I ever thought I’d need her. I honestly just took help when it was offered. I had to stop putting every inch of my life into details that I couldn’t control. For me, a person that’s been controlling (or even attempting to control) my own life since I was seventeen, it was very difficult. Eric’s work schedule became more flexible with him, making our lives even a tad bit more comfortable. Then life just kept moving on. A few months would go by and I wouldn’t even count how long it had been since my last episode. By December I had a hysterectomy and everyone was worried the stress would bring on a seizure. Luckily, that passed and I’ve got the breeze of no periods! Then an emergency gallbladder removal passed too!
The new year came in and we kept skating by. Work for me was steady and with the boys back at school life was on cruise control. Covid came in and messed with our Spring Break plans, but we still made the best of things. After the boys were kept home for the school year and distance learning took into full effect, I was a mess. How in the heck would I manage work, school work plus the house?! But.. I did it. Tears were shed, but we kept putting work in. Summer couldn’t have come any quicker! We had to cancel so many plans which made our home life sad, but still trucking along and making the best of it.
Ladies & Gents. Thank you for reading this far. It’s been a wild ride. Our family has been up and down and even in between. I FINALLY MADE IT AN ENTIRE YEAR OF NO SEIZURES. I couldn’t have done it without Eric always drying my tears and bringing the laughs. The boys for the unconditional love. My mom for putting her entire life on hold to help me day in and day out. The biggest support system of our families. The Romo Clan is enjoying today and every day after it. We’re making it ❤️
You have probably seen every mom celebrity talk about some sort of meal delivery. Welp, I finally gave in because I was tired of having the same thing over and over and then my kids not touching what I made. Hello Fresh was my first choice since it’s been around for quite some time. I used their first box for I think $20 off, which was a catch too.
I have to first say, my kids are super picky. As I’m writing this, my youngest, Lucas, is eating cereal. Go ahead and judge me 💁🏻♀️
If you don’t know, The Romo Clan is a family of five. Three growing boys takes a lot of trial and error to find foods that they’ll all eat. Even with the meals we all talk about trying by the next night they’ll say they don’t like it. We started last week, so we’re on week two. Owen is the middle child and he started out as the pickiest and he has been the most willing to try new dinners. When we had the meals delivered he was excited to see what was being cooked. This was such a good feeling!
Okay, okay. Now on to the cons because you know I can’t just say hey it’s great buy it with my code and get some cash off and you’ll get me some cash off. As I previously mentioned we are a family of five, the meal plans say two or four. I thought there would be wiggle room and I was completely wrong. If you are even a family of four it would be difficult to get enough meals. They give you plenty of the veggies and sides, but the actual protein is slim. This makes it inconvenient since I prefer more protein than anything. So please keep that in mind! Then comes the fact that you pick your meals by a certain day and it gets delivered on your specific date. For example, I order by Wednesday and it gets delivered the following Monday. I won’t lie, if you don’t pay attention you’ll miss your deadline and the chance to choose your own meals. Bummer!
Let’s talk about the good part, besides the fact that they are family friendly. They also come in a huge box (we get the three day meal plan) delivered right to your front door. Every item is fresh and I don’t have to worry about anything going bad in the Texas heat. Then comes the bags that each meal is put into and sealed with a label that shows your meals! I love it because it’s everything you need, minus the meat and a few seasonings, salt/pepper and butter/oil. The meat is individually wrapped and labeled too! So I like to leave the specific ones for dinner in the fridge and the others in the freezer.
Everything is sounding pretty good right? Lastly let’s talk pricing. Usually I budget $150-$200 for groceries, including pit stops to the meat market. That’s definitely a lot, especially because a lot of it is junk and some foods the kids won’t even try 🙄 I’ve paid $80 a week for the meals and only bought necessity groceries such as fruit, milk and eggs at the grocery store. I’ve been able to cut my grocery bill by having the right amount (give or take a few extra proteins) added. For us it’s been a bonus. Not eating out as much a week, along with having to drag the kids out to buy groceries since our local pickup has been a hot mess. Huge shoutout to Kroger for giving us bad fruits and veggies!
Anyways, there it is! If you have any questions or have had any issues, likes or dislikes with your meal service, let me know! I’d love to hear other experiences! I’ve also added my code if you want to check it out! If not, that’s okay too 🙂
You have been invited to savour the joy of cooking HelloFresh and get a $40 coupon to spend on your first box of fresh ingredients and delicious recipes. Start your cooking adventure now with HelloFresh using the following voucher code HS-W7LN1W8P4.
It’s already my time for bed. That sounds off since I don’t work a normal job, my kids don’t rely on me to get them to school on time and well, because who goes to bed at 8 pm…
I’ve tried to turn my body into a “sleep mode” so that when I wake up in the middle of the night to toss and turn, I won’t sit on my phone and binge watch something. I tell myself not to do it. But somehow the peace of no one bothering me or asking me twenty thousand questions is what keeps me from going back to sleep. It’s absolutely exhausting and with the world turned upside down, this mama is struggling.
I can’t say I have it hard. My husband is an essential worker and is thankfully even getting overtime. I’m still getting my paycheck from one of my small businesses. My kids are healthy and we’re in a semi normal routine. So why can’t I keep up? The house needs to be cleaned, but the kids need to be fed. Somewhere in between try to add some stretches in so you don’t feel so old. Get with it Romo, you’re not even 30!
When Eric gets home, I don’t even want to talk! I feel like I’m failing as a wife and mother sometimes. I can’t be the only one. This staying inside and social distancing is driving me insane. Literally. So tonight, I’m going to lay in bed, find a comfy spot and sleep. Fingers crossed it’s all night, but if not, there’s always another day.
What time does school start again? I think tomorrow is when our substitute teacher comes and brings in the movie cart.
It’s been 294 days since my last seizure and I won’t lie, I’ve been feeling quite cocky lately. Can I push it and stay up late only to wake up to an alarm and keep going? Can I drink one too many drinks and wake up feeling fine? Kidding. I definitely haven’t been pushing it too much. But I did find myself wanting to invest more time into my work. So it wasn’t a big deal when I was sitting in the office and my boss was asking me a million questions.
It wasn’t a big deal at all….Until he asked me for a paper and I knew where the paper was but I couldn’t find it. What kind of person couldn’t find the basics in her own office? Me. I’m that person. See, my boss is in his seventies and it’s my job to ensure that his businesses are managed properly. With the Covid, life has become more difficult for him and we’re trying to do the best we can. So why is it that I couldn’t find this simple object, paper, that I’d had for years in my office. An office I set up the way that worked for me. An office that allowed me to see outside and still have enough room for when my boys came to work with me. Heck, I was the one that managed the entire build, yet here I was staring at my desk and my file cabinets like I had never been in my own office.
I could tell my boss was beginning to worry, so with a fresh breath of air I began looking through my file cabinets, then to his and back to mine again. Twenty minutes later, I found the paper, contracts to be more specific, filed away like I knew I had done. I made twenty copies and put them in a new file folder and labeled and then told him where they’d be in case I wasn’t there. He laughed and said, you’ll be around longer than me and began a story of how he had figured how long he would have to live based off of his family tree. We both had a chuckle and called it a day.
This overwhelming feeling keeps coming over me and I haven’t been able to shake it. This feeling of losing my memory. I’m only 27 years old and I somehow cannot remember things that happened a week or two ago. I find myself writing on three calendars and my phone calendar just to remind myself of plans. Now, I know this sounds like a basic side effect of medication, which it might be. But guess what? I’m stuck on this medicine probably for the rest of my life. I know that there are plenty of people that are worse off than me and I’m thankful that I’ve been able to manage my epilepsy for this long. It’s a scary reality I’m facing and I do not know how to feel. (Sigh)
Why is it that once you start researching you automatically take it to the worst possible level? That would be me. I’m the person that does that. So as I’m checking out the effects my seizures have had on me, the medications I take and their side effects, I realize that I’m for sure doomed! I mean, every single medication mentions the most outrageous side effects and I’ve checked the boxes to them. With all of this being said, I know that I’ll consult with my doctor before any major changes, but it’s time for some lifestyle changes. I don’t want to lose some of the best memories I have in my life. I may only be 27, but I’ve had plenty of great memories and many more to come…